Amy Adkins Legal Blog

I often have clients who are accused of adultery, but who believe that they are not guilty.  What do I mean?  First, it is still adultery to have an intimate relationship with another person while you are legally married to your spouse EVEN if you and your spouse are separated.  Until a judge has granted a divorce, you are committing adultery if you have an intimate relationship with someone other than your spouse.  This fact holds true even if you and your spouse have been separated for over a year. 

The impact of adultery varies depending on the circumstances.  It can enable the faithful spouse to obtain more than the usual fifty percent in the final property division.  In a custody case, it may affect your ability to win primary custody - especially if you bring new boyfriend or girlfriend around the kids right after kicking your spouse out. 

A good rule of thumb is to respect your marriage until a court has legally dissolved it.  Do not bring more issues into your divorce case than necessary.  Allow your kids to reach some kind of adjustment before bringing a new man or woman into their lives.  The judge will like you more and you will protect your own interests.  Not to mention how much more amicable your spouse will be.

With Christmas coming, parents are trying to decide what gifts to buy for the kids this year.  Those parents involved in custody fights often fall into a downward spiral of trying to buy the “best” gift for the kid and competing with what the other parent gives the kid. 

The best gifts that you can give your kids are the following:  your time, your attention, and lots of great memories.  Kids are easy to buy.  They often say, “I will really love you if you buy me a _______ (fill in the blank).”  But what they remember months after Christmas is gone and their new toys are now broken or forgotten is what you did with them.  Did you take the time to go see the Christmas lights on display?  Did you all sit down together at Christmas?  Did you start new traditions? 

Try to remember that what a kid wants and what a kids needs are two different things.  Kids experience love through the attention that they get from their parents.  Giving the kid a present just so you can say you bought them a more expensive gift than their other parent is actually the worst gift.

I have two cats, a male and a female.  The male cat prefers to lay around and occasionally play with sticks (of all things!).  I used to buy him various balls that he would bat around.  They made noise and got him to actually move around.  Then he managed to lose every last one of them under various furniture in my house.  Now he just sleeps on my lap.

The female cat, however, is quite a handful.  She likes to knock over the trash can, smack the male cat around, and generally mess with everything in the house.  The great thing is though that she is also cheap to buy for when it comes to toys.  She simply wants hair ties.  She doesn’t like any of the balls I used to buy or any of the sticks or any other type of cat toy.  Instead, she steals hair ties off of my dresser or bathroom counter or anywhere else and then runs around sliding it in and out under various doors in the house.

I only wish that I was so easily amused.

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on the blessings in your life and to express your thankfulness for all that you have.  It is especially hard to be thankful or to see the silver lining in tough times.  This year our nation and our economy are in a tough place. 

But after some reflection, I am grateful for the many things that I experience in my career and in my life.  I am thankful for the clients who truly want to do what is in the best interests of their kids, even if it means putting themselves last and sacrificing.  I am thankful for the selfless people who adopt.  I am thankful for the parents who care enough to fight for their child, but who also know how to treat the other parent with respect and dignity.  I am thankful for a place to live, a car to drive, and the freedom to choose everything, from the kind of tea that I drink to the type of decorations that I get to put up for the holidays.

Regardless of where you are or what you do on Thanksgiving, I hope you take the time to reflect on the many blessings that we have in our country.  And eat lots of turkey!

In Texas, child support is generally paid by the parent with whom the children do not live.  Many rumors have been flying around about how child support is calculated.  I was recently asked if child support would be increased if the parent with whom the children were living was working only part-time.  The answer is no.  Both parents are expected to contribute equally to the support of their children, and child support is intended to offset some expenses for taking care of the children and providing for their permanent residence.  It is not intended to cover all expenses for the children or to allow the one parent to stay home and take care of the children.  In Texas, a person pays a set percentage of their net income (defined as roughly what they make after taxes and paying for health insurance for the children) as child support.  Depending on what side of the coin you fall on, the amount can either seem like too much or too little.  I want to be clear that what one parent pays in child support has almost nothing to do with how much the other parent makes.  A very poor man could pay child support to a very rich woman for support of their child even though the mom could easily cover all expenses for the child.  The law, rightly or wrongly, intends to force responsibility on every parent for contributing to the support of their child.